Predictable
by Tsuki no Talia
Summary: The Corporal is predictable-Hanji knows that. She knows that he wakes up early to exercise and takes his coffee the same way every time..she even knows that he'll clean up your messes himself if you're not doing it right. Predictable. But now ...now he's going out of his way just to prove Hanji wrong. He can be pretty unpredictable, if he really wants to.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin._

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_.__**p**__redictable._

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Hanji Zoe is good at calculations. She's good at predicting outcomes; she's good at observing things. After all, that's what being a scientist is all about.

That's why she knows that Petra sometimes puts twenty percent more coffee bean into the pot because Levi likes it strong. Hanji knows Aurora spends thirty percent of his day trying and failing to imitate the Corporal. She knows that said Corporal spends sixty percent of his day cleaning things that don't need to be cleaned...and she knows that at the moment he is one-hundred percent done with her shit.

All she can do is smile innocently in the face of annoyance. She even thinks he starts twitching a little as he looks past her and at the muddy footsteps staining his precious floors with water and dirt and...stray lab reports that had fallen out of her folder.

She knows he's a clean freak, but it's fun getting under his skin. Something about the way his face mushes up in furry...

"Hey Levi," Hanji calls, her arms full of papers messily thrown together in her haste to get to the castle, "Is Eren here I really need to-"

"Where else would he be?" The Corporal's voice sends shivers down her spine and Hanji manages to hide her smirk.

"-right. Well, anyway, I have to talk to him about-"

"No."

"No?" Hanji tilts her head, blinking down at him with a grin. She only stands about two inches taller than him, his forehead reaches her nose. "No what?"

"You're not going to talk to the brat right now. Right now you're going to clean-"

"That's really interesting haichou, but I've really just got to ask Eren about some titan stuff." She smiles again and adds for good measure, "You wouldn't be interested."

Hanji watches his fingers twitch and tighten into fists. He's approximately five seconds away from a mental breakdown and his tolerance level weighs in at an astonishing two percent. Excellent.

And it had only taken two minutes. Hanji flicks the elastic on her glasses and hides a smile, it's a new record after all.

"Hanji..."

But she's already walking away, dropping more papers and trailing more dirt through the castle. She thought that he would stop her at three feet, but he lets her go a whole four before his annoyed voice rings out again.

"..Zoe.."

She winces, Levi rarely uses her surname.

"Did you really think...I'd let you trail dirt through here?" The shorter man is careful to avoid her footprints and walks up to her, his eyes burning holes into her scalp. "You might enjoy this...messiness." She knows that translate directly to 'God Hanji, do something about your hair already!' and she scratches her head sheepishly. "But I do not. You will clean this up." He turns his back on her and walks towards the kitchen. "Now."

She was right after all; it had taken less than three minutes to get him to come out of that 'cool demeanor' of his...

Mission successful.

_.fifteen minutes later._

Mission unsuccessful. Mission very very unsuccessful.

This is the part where Levi is supposed to get annoyed with her terrible cleaning skills and do it himself! She wasn't supposed to end up on her knees scrubbing up the stupid footprints she had left on purpose just to see if hypothesis was correct. (Her hypothesis that Levi is a predictable freak, that is.)

God, and to think the asshole hadn't even offered her the luxury of a mop. With a stick. So she wouldn't be on her _hands_ and _knees_. Instead, the Corporal tossed a brush at her head and told her to have fun.

Now, she's thought about this scenario several times, and each time, Levi always ends up doing the work _for _her. That is a perfectly reasonable hypothesis because he'd done it before. He'd be like _"Goddammit Hange, can't you do anything right?"_ And she'd say, _"Guess not, Corporal._" and toss him the broom because who and their right mind would not? Levi never hesitates to do something himself when the other person fails terribly. Especially something as important and dear to his heart as _cleanliness._

She had estimated ten minutes ago that Levi would take out the mop, hit her with it, and tell her to get out of the way before he soaks her ("disgusting") head into a bucket full of soap and water that reeks of bleach and...Lilacs. Levi also should have run his hand through his hair approximately twelve times by now, and pinch the bridge of his nose at least three times. Instead he...he's...just what is he doing?

Hanji looks up from her places on the floor, the scent of lilacs strong in her nose and watches the Corporal pull up a wooden chair. He pulls it all the way to her side and plops right down in it with a stack of papers in his hands.

"What are you...?" Hanji moves to get to her feet but something heavy lands on her back, keeping her on her hands and knees. She cranes her neck and sees _Levi's feet_ resting casually on her back as if she were a footrest.

A footrest that cleans.

"Let's see, what do we have here...?" Levi hums to himself, eyes darting across a wrinkled page that Hanji assumes to be his paperwork. "_'How to make Levi clean up your messes._'" He reads off, his voice laced with a hint of annoyance.

Hanji squeaks and digs the brush into the ground more harshly. She's sure she's only moving the dirt around more so she dumps the brush into the water again, causing a sloshing mess of soap and dirt and dust. Levi's feet dig harder into her back.

"Is that all I'm good for?" He flips through the other papers, wincing at Hanji's terrible scrawny handwriting. Her handwriting resembles her, he thinks, messy with no type of order. "Cleaning up after you?"

"Don't sound so offended," Hanji says from her place on the floor. "I just wanted to see if you were as predictable as I thought you were. Anyway, I've done the same thing with Petra and Irvin."

Levi twitches again as he looks down at her, arms scrubbing vigorously, and in vain. All she's doing is moving the mud around. The shorter man can't help but twitch and wonder if she's being useless on purpose. He doubts it. He's stepped into her cluttered labs once and has vowed to never trespass into that landfill again. Levi removes his feet off her back and snatches the brush from her. He is predictable now, is he?

The glint in her eye tells Levi that she thinks he is. Whatever. He can mess with her just like she's messed with him.

"Give me your hand, shitty glasses."

She does as she's told easily enough, taking the cleaning brush into careful hands and staring at him quizzically. He crouches down and puts his pale hand on top of hers, almost surprised that her hands are pretty soft. She jumps at the contact and stares at him, confused, as he guides her hand on the floor. "Like this." His head is close to hers and she can smell his hair...like pine trees and...Bleach...

Her nose wrinkles a little. "Um, Levi?" She blushes as his hand doesn't leave hers, he doesn't look at her though, as he's way too focused on getting rid of the now hardened mud.

"What?" Suddenly the warmth is gone and he stands swiftly.

Hanji wrings her hand and feels the warmth leave her cheeks. She surely had not predicted that. "Nothing."

"Well, get on with it." Levi gestures to the floor before leaving the room.

_That was weird..._Hanji thinks as she scrubs the 'correct' way as the Corporal had kindly taught her. _I'll have to thank him for passing along his skill_, Hanji thinks sarcastically.

"Get up." Levi enters the room again, this time with a mop and a bored look expression. Hanji knows she's seeing things when she notices a flash of amusement in his gaze. "Here." He trusts the mop at her.

_Sadistic bastard..._

Hanji scrambles to her feet, her hands are achy and red and she suddenly wishes that she had tried a different approach that didn't involve floors or mud. Her fingers tighten around the mop and she moves it awkwardly before shoving it back into the bucket of water with a pleased grin. Almost done...she thinks. It's not like she's ever invested her time into frivolous tasks like cleaning—she doesn't know when things are to Levi's standards!

"Tch. Terrible." She hears Levi mumble and before she knows it Levi's arms come from behind her to move the mop correctly.

It might have worked better if he hadn't been so short, but Levi knows that Hanji is freaking out anyway. Levi tightens his hands around hers, his head reaches to maybe about the bottom of her ear. Close enough. "Like this."

Hanji stiffens against him. All her analyses and observations and thesis' on Levi are thrown out the window. Just-just what is he doing?! Why are his hands around her? Why is her heart beating so fast?

Of course...she knows the answer to the third question. Her heart beats fast because of Levi's closeness which freaks her out which stimulates the brain to send signals to the adrenal gland which secrete hormones like adrenaline which—

"_Go faster, you're moving too slow. Gently._" Levi's voice rings close to her ear, bringing her out of her mental rant and causing her hair to rise on the back of her neck. His arms tighten around her and his head nudges her ear.

"Uhh. I think I got it now. Um. Levi?"

He rests his forehead on her shoulder continuing to move the mob around with her hands. "What, shitty glasses?"

"You're starting to freak me out..."

"Good."

Hanji is more than relieved when the Corporal drops his arms. Her relief turns into surprise when his fingers grab her shoulders and pin her to the wall. Okay. Aggressive angry Levi makes more sense.

This is predictable.

Hanji sighs and smiles. Everything's good now. And not weird. Except Levi is too close. Like way close and his hands on either side of her head and she gets shivers all over her body.

Just-what is this feeling?

She sweats as she feels Levi's torso hovering mere inches away from hers. Her nose touches the top of his head before he looks up at her, eyes still filled with boredom and that tiny bit of amusement. He smirks and Hanji's heart speeds up.

"Uh, haichou..."

He leans forwards his breath tickling her ear, "I'm not so predictable now, am I?"

"N-No." Hanji replies, trying not to stutter. Her brown eyes are wide as Levi backs away from her, only leaving the feeling of his breath on his ear behind.

He's back to his cool demeanor again and Hanji predicts that in 2.5 seconds he'll tell her to get back to work.

But he doesn't even do that. He just smirks back at her and says, "Tell Eren I said to clean up this mess up after you're done having your little 'chat' about nothing."

Hanji sighs, defeated.

She's now, like, ninety percent _wrong_...

...And ten percent sure that she might like Levi.

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_.__**p**__redictable._

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_Well this fic turned crack by the end of it, but I'm not complaining. I stopped writing this around 4:30 am. _

_This is my first SnK fic, tell me what you think and shoot me a review._


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